The Power of the Coach

I was talking about coaching with the Rec Director in the Lakeshore area a little while ago, and he had a funny story for me with serious implications.

Dave is a lacrosse coach, and for those who aren't familiar with the sport, it's a rough game. While coaching an Under 12 or Under 14 team (I forget the exact age group), Dave made a comment to his players, "There's no crying in lacrosse." He said it jokingly and didn't mean it; really I could see myself saying something similar.

During the course of a practice, one of his players got hit there by the ball. The player crumpled to the ground and curled up into a ball, which is a totally natural reaction. As Dave made his way over to check on the injured player, he heard one of his teammates say "Remember, there's no crying in lacrosse!" and the player on the ground repeating "I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry." When Dave heard this, his response was "No, go ahead and cry!". All of the players were worried the injured player would be punished for crying, so they were trying to help him through it.

It's a funny story, but it really goes to show just how much influence a coach has with their players. This also applies to everyone in positions of leadership; teachers, youth leaders, even older brothers or sisters.

After hearing this story, I really try to watch what I say to the kids I coach. It actually makes me feel bad about an experience I had coaching Midget soccer when I was younger. One of my players was determined to score a goal in a game against Gimli, and somehow we got onto the running gag that if he didn't score he'd be cut (we didn't have cuts at all, by the way). He had a bunch of chances that almost went in but didn't, and occasionally when he missed I'd yell "Justin! You're cut!" It was meant totally in jest, everyone knew that, but I still feel kind of bad about it. Today Justin is actually a member of the U of M track & field team, and a competitive one at that, so I don't think I scarred him thank goodness.

Everyone is a role model to somebody, so I think we need to remember that we need to set a positive example in everything we do and think before we speak, Facebook, or text.